Back To College

So , its that time of the year again , the time when you feel you've had enough holidays , and still want more but also want to go to college cause the results are out and things aint good at home , especially when you just got caught smoking...(i might go on if you let me) But then again , college is a whole other scene..

Theres certain things in college , that we do to gain knowledge but just so that we screw up , there are certain "rules"
1. ID!!  like an old SRM song used to go , " Where is the id card??" , id card is necessary..The fact is that you dont need anything but an ID = dont care even if u naked (nekkid) 
2. Professors will ALWAYS know more then you. Their “Technical knowledge” exceeds yours at all points of time and space. Any attempt at out-smarting will end in the prof saying down tommy! , but then again it rarely happes around the people i know..
3.Lets not forget BAKSHI , and  Anything thats not explained in the BIBLE or QURAN is explained in it. In case you dont know who BAKSHI is, Bakshi is this lame-ass always in heights of joblessness who writes REFERENCE books for engineering. If you happen to know his whereabouts, I’d like to know. So that I can BLOW HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF !

Dont judge a book by its cover ! Open the god-damn book !

4.Every classroom will have the 9-ptrs, who think getting 8.99 is as big as a sin akin to MURDER. A sincere advice to all normal people, STAY AWAY from these extra-terrestrial martians. Just flick your finger at them whenever you happen to see them. Know this, by flicking your finger you have incurred their wrath and they will NOT HELP YOU ever. EVER.

Martian1: I got 9.8. Sucker. Martian2: I got 9.9,suck on it..... (Obviosuly in geeky martian language)

5. Cute/gorgeous/beautiful girls are a MYTH. Few girls might look,”Good from far”, but on closer inspection,you’ll come to know that they are actually quite “Far From Good”. Average age of girls studyin in college is 55. But maturity is 5. And average rating is 3.14 [ Yea , we are engineering students B-| ] .

And THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT ! But .............

THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU GET ! .

6. Another common misconception is that junior/senior girls look good. Its just a rumour startd by the seniors of yesteryears so that the current generation suffer the same fate they suffered,go crazy in search for good looking girls. Know this , Its just NOT POSSIBLE to have cute chicks In An Engineering college (But Hell yeah in an Arts college : Other Admin). So you are stuck with cheap-ass porno and that is all that you deserve .
Wondering why ? Read on …….
7.The rice they use in canteen is the RE.1/kg rice that our honourable “chief minister” provides. So,while at the canteen ensure that you use all your senses.
In the following order:
Look Closely. Smell. Feel. Crush and hear. Then Eat at your own risk.
What you think is Aaloo might jus be a dead cockroach.
The tomatoes and onions might just be half-cooked lizards.
(Plus Lizards are cheaper than onions).
And the “Meal-Maker” is actualy deep-fried monkey balls.
Dont believe me,why do you think the college has so many monkeys ??

Looks YUMMY !!!!! But ......

Yeah,This is probably what you get.... And yea,the washroom's right ahead... Have fun PUKING !

8. Most institutions has 9 feet high walls. There are institutions which also have(one or many of the following):

• Barbed Wires.
• Electric Fences.
• CCTV’s installed in strategic locations.
• Marshes on the other side with crocs n alligators.

And surprise surprise,

• Snipers who “head-shot” you if they find you outta place.
• Also a secret collection of MP-16′s and All-terrain vehicles.

It'll sting like a bee . Thats all . And yea , that guy might just be your math prof !

In Certain Institutions they have even trained …….

You NEVER know . The cat might even say,"MEW MEEOW" . Which translates to,"DIE BITCH" in english !

So , tell you what , thats almost it about ENGG colleges , except ofcourse , the magical herb HIGHlight ..





PS this is the 50th post! hubba bubba